"There was once a Father who had two sons. The younger said to his father, 'Father, I want to go to college and have a limitless Visa card while I’m there, and a Mustang convertible. "So the father cashed in his portfolio and most of his retirement. It wasn't long before the younger son packed his bags and left for a distant universe-city. There, undisciplined and dissipated, he wasted everything he had. After he had gone through all his [dad’s] money, there was not as generous a bell curve as he had expected, and he flunked out as well. He signed on with a local citizen who assigned him to clean at his farm. He was so hungry he would have eaten the corncobs in the pig slop, but no one would give him any. He even missed Convo... "That brought him to his senses. He said, 'All those union guys working for my father sit down to three meals a day, and here I am starving to death. I'm going back to my dad. I'll say to him, dad, I've rebelled against God, I've taken advantage of you; I don't deserve to be called your son. Take me on as a hired hand.' He got right up and went home to his dad. "When he was still a long way off, his dad saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, wrestled him to the ground and kissed him. The son started his speech: 'Father, I've rebelled against God and you; I don't deserve to be called your son ever again.' "But the dad wasn't listening. He was calling to the servants, 'Quick. Go to American Eagle and dress him. Put the family AMEX in his wallet and Adidas on his feet. Then go down to the BBQ and fire up some ribs. We're going to feast! My son is here—given up for dead and now alive! Given up for lost and now found!' And they began to have a wonderful time. "All this time his older son was out in the field. When the day's work was done he came in. As he approached the house, he heard Death Cab for Cutie playing and dancing. Calling over one of the caterer’s, he asked what was going on. He told him, 'Your brother came home. Your dad has ordered a feast—barbecued beef! And brewski’s—because he has him home safe and sound.' "The older brother stalked off in an angry sulk and refused to join in. His dad came out and tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't listen. The son said, 'Look how many years I've stayed here serving you, never giving you one moment of grief, but have you ever thrown a party for me and my friends? Then this son of yours who has thrown away your money on whores shows up and you go all out with a feast!' "His dad said, 'Son, you don't understand. You're with me all the time, and everything that is mine is yours—but this is a wonderful time, and we had to celebrate. This brother of yours was dead, and he's alive! He was lost, and he's found!'"