Friday, February 20, 2009

being and meaning

to be or not to be...that IS the question...

but how do we stop runing so fast and stop to drink in creation and our creator?
how do we enter solitude and silence?

i am cheating!

I am at a vineyard church retreat center that has an old church [lizzy]; an old convent [sister act]; an artist studio; a cafe; and some intentional [communal] communities living near by.

at least 2 times a year i need to stop completely. I need to end my swirling thoughts, exhausted pace, heart anxieties...and stop to be still and silent for a while. To touch the snow, to watch the birds, to eat slowly, to pray for wandering hours at an end, and to walk around and then rest in the strong arms of God's nearness.

It's a chance to give him BIG time, and to have some BIG conversations. To explore avenues of heart, habits, thoughts, choices, attitudes, relationships, ministry, family, love-loss-mystery-and majesty.

i'll share some of this as i go. But today was mostly just winding down. Forcing myself to stop thinking...stop fretting...stop planning...stop everything.

and let REST do her work. peeling my hands off of the world. "de-pimping and re-monking." stopping the worlds ways and going into seclusion to find Gods ways again.

fresh as crisp snow
warm as sunlight
mysterious as fog
warming as the fireplace
near as my own breathing
slow as the dawn emerging
still as 2am
playful as imagination
wise as the great oak tree who has seen so much
holy as the battered church that still smiles over this rugged neighborhood
inviting as the laughter downstairs
saturating as my morning shower
filling as my hot warm meal
observant as a poet
seductive as the Spirit
hushed as a mothers lulabye
protected as a fathers arms
twinkiling as stardust
purposeful as angels on mission

as i sleep away from the world, i am awakening to the other world...the REAL world. And as this place fades into mist, the next place supplants my roots in heaven. an i am upside down i am supposed to be. With my roots in heaven, growing fruit to give to my earth.

but pulling the roots out of earth takes some time...and that is what this time means.

for only when we find our true meaning...can we start being...who we truly are.



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