Friday, July 20, 2007

God 3.0

Dear Tech Support:Last year I upgraded from Autonomy 1.0 to God 3.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected cognitive, financial and emotive processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, God 3.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Pornography 10.3, Materialism 5.0, Selfishness 7.5, and Freedom 3.6I can't seem to keep God 3.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Autonomy 1.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on God 3.0.

Please help!Thanks, A Troubled User. (KEEP READING) ______________________________________

REPLY:Dear Troubled User:This is a very common problem that people complain about.Many people upgrade from Autonomy 1.0 to God 3.0, thinking that it is just a Firewall application. God 3.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete God 3.0 and to return to Autonomy 1.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.You cannot go back to Autonomy 1.0 because God 3.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your God 3.0 manual under Warnings-Hell-Consequences-Judas. I recommend that you keep God 3.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Obedience" to alleviate software augmentation.The best course of action is to enter the command C:\Confession because ultimately you will have to give the Confession command before the system will return to normal anyway. As awkward as this sounds we also suggest you build this as a desktop shortcut as you will be using it quite often to avoid a system crash and reboot.God 3.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. God 3.0 comes with several support programs, such as Forgiveness 3.0, Wisdom 1.5 and Hope and Meaning 4.2.However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Conscience and Conviction 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of God 3.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Church 5.0 and Accountability 3.0! God 3.0 also has a ton of great spam blockers, and will help you manage some of the worst pop-ups and hacks out there, but you will have to manually put them in the virus vault, after inspecting them with the code available in the helps section under Scripture 1.0WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install, Compromise 7.5 This application is not supported by God 3.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system. Once this happens you operating system will be vulnerable to the Trojan horse Judas 2.0 and Beelzebubba 6.66 in such a scenario you will need a new hardrive as the system will be canabalized by these viruses.
Finally make sure you have an authentic version that is registered in their books. There is no tech support or helps section available in counterfeits or pirated copies. The code is built in such a way that pirated copies simply slow down memory and performance; they are usually formatted on older platforms like Religion 9.9, Morality 10.0, Feel-good-about-yourself 8.0, and Legalism 1.7. These systems don’t work, and actually trying to use the applications without the processors available only in God 3.0 will create a fatal error collapse.

Best of luck, Paul Paraclete, Tech Support


david sherwood said...

also, I forgot to mention that God 3.0 comes with great tech support available 24/7 and is built into the programming. The wi-fi is incredible and has access everywhere I have tried it. Just go to the menu item in helps called "prayer" and tell them whatever is happening. You may not get a quick response, but it will me. Also God 3.0 has automatic upgrades such a "spiritual gifts 1.0; blessings 10.0; protection 9.9; etc" Just make sure you visit the home site often enough to check for these an other patches. Once the bugs shack out this is a great system, enjoy may be quirky at times, but it is a very stable platform...much more stable than your previous one "titanic 2.0"


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